azcentral.com provides an internet marketing glossary, including this bizarre explanation of Twitter:
Twitter - A new form of social media used for posting "away" notices on instant messaging. For example, I could notify everyone in my network if I am heading out to dinner and want company or just need some time alone.
Well, yeah, you could use it for that. But they totally miss the mark.
I've sent an email to the author through her site, which claims she's "responsive like a Porsche 911 Carrera", so hopefully I'll get some sort of insight.
Update: Amanda Vega informs me (with impressive speed) that her much longer explanation was heavily edited. I have updated this post accordingly. Thanks, Amanda!